The "Big Four" have to be core to our being, must be authentically portrayed, and cannot be faked. They are not merely action items. Think of the "Big Four" as a to be list rather than yet another to do list.

Though presented for men on this page, the "Big Four" are also applicable for women when the gender references are reversed. The four pillars are as follows:

1) Confidence Built On Competence  Belief in one's own overall competence, combined with a strong feeling of self-worth as an attractive potential partner for MOTOS, a friend everyone should want to have, and a true professional worthy of career promotion.

2) Masculinity That Ignites Femininity  Masculinity and femininity are the catalysts of sexual attraction. Their respective elements are best defined by the gender attracted to them, as opposed to the gender exhibiting them. Importantly, masculinity and femininity are inherently virtuous, not "toxic". The latter represents perversion of the virtue. Masculine men and feminine women find each other mutually attractive. A major linchpin of masculinity is tied to causing women to feel safe, secure and comfortable in your presence. This is best accomplished by having her best interests at heart as opposed to representing a threat to her physically, emotionally or otherwise. Mature, effective and benevolent decision making is key. Similarly, men feel safe with a woman when she proves ambitious, trustworthy, loyal, reliable and supportive. Importantly, masculine value transcends mere sexual attraction. For instance, other men respect, follow and are influenced by a man who exudes virtuous masculinity.

3) Genuine Adoration Of Women  Real affection and appreciation toward MOTOS (members of the other sex) is an absolute must. If you don't like them, it's unreasonable to expect them to like you in return. That's why we cannot let ourselves get angry, bitter or even jaded after a bad experience or two. There are good people of both genders, and a handful of tough experiences doesn't change that. If anything, we may need to consider the choices of associations we make, and the way we're presenting in relationships. Notably, since the world is both male and female, being able to interact effectively with both genders is integral to success across all areas of life, not just dating and attraction.

4) Strong Moral Character  Having a consistent, cornerstone belief system in place allows one to understand what is right and do so even when nobody is watching. Good character empowers one to make effective decisions, maintain a consistent presence and fulfill on his or her promises. Although an important harbinger of long-term relationship success, consistent good character also promotes well-being and uplevels success everywhere else. Importantly, simply having "character" isn't enough. One can have bad character or even no character, but only good character empowers us to deserve what we want.

 

Similarly, once able to boldly seize opportunities to meet and attract MOTOS, sexual polarity ensures success at the attraction phase. It's also self-evident that men honor other men who succeed with women.

Notably, only the first two elements are necessary in order for pure attraction to occur in a potentially romantic situation.

The third element of actually liking MOTOS is what allows them to relax and enjoy being attracted. Without feeling welcomed, safe, secure and actively chosen rather than simply settled for, women tend to "flake out" on dates and pull back from intimacy in relationships. Meanwhile, liking women (pillar 3) and even being non-threatening without the true elements of masculine sexual polarity (pillar 2) leads to the dreaded "Just Be Friends Zone".

Finally, strong character ensures the long-term viability of the romantic relationship (or a business relationship, for that matter) by instilling a protracted sense of safety/security over the course of time. Over the course of two decades since the concept of the "big four" was introduced, Scot has successfully defended the validity and completeness of the model even when presenting before potentially skeptical or even hostile audiences.