IN THIS EDITION:   What is the difference between “pickup” and “seduction”?  And more importantly, is that really all there is to getting better with women?

 

 

THE ENGINEER’S GUIDE TO BEING COOLER THAN THE SALESGUY:  

 

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The new stuff keeps on coming, so please be sure to check the announcements at the bottom of this e-mail…especially if you’ve got Christmas shopping to do.

 

Now on to this week’s newsletter…

 

 

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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PICKUP AND SEDUCTION

 

 

Have you been trapped under something extremely heavy for the past six or eight years?  Good.  Then you’ve already figured out that the vast majority world’s resources for men who want to get better with women focus on PICKUP and/or SEDUCTION.

 

There’s “The Seduction Community”, of course.  But lately I’ve also seen “Pickup Community” coined in several places.  What gives?  It’s looks an awful lot like the terms are treated as virtually synonymous.  Is that the case?  And must EVERYTHING that equals “dating advice” for men necessarily be classified as one or the other?

 

I say, “Not a chance”, and, um…”Not a chance”.  

 

For starters, both “pickup” and “seduction” are universally referenced when talking about the early stages of relationship management.  But it’s there where the terms diverge.

 

In my mind, “pickup” in particular focuses purely on approaching and meeting MOTOS, and perhaps building rapport, etc.   In no uncertain terms (at least ostensibly), we’re talking about what is commonly referred to as “Day One” stuff here.  At some point, “pickup” makes a soft handoff to “seduction”, which inherently refers to inspiring MOTOS towards deeper sexual attraction towards the seducer.  Whether you choose to buy into the Dictionary.com definition referencing “enticing someone astray from right behavior” or the other one reading “an act of winning the love or sexual favor of someone is your business.  But either way, we’re past “pickup” at this point. 

 

With the semantic differences between “pickup” and “seduction” down on paper, the logical follow-up question is, “Does this mean there’s a difference between a “pickup artist” and a “seducer”.

 

Oh HECK YEAH there is.

 

Having given this some considerable thought, it’s apparent to me that a “pickup artist” focuses on the GAME.  “Pickup” typically involves “openers”, “routines”, and other terms and acronyms that would make IT engineers jealous--perhaps not coincidentally, I might add.  The game of “pickup” itself is about acquiring as many “number closes”, “kiss closes” and “lays” as one can, and in the shortest amount of time possible. 

 

As the saying goes, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” 

 

Recently I saw a post on a well-traveled message board proposing that all of the top “PUAs” should have to fill out some sort of spreadsheet detailing their numbers of “lays”, with age groups and other details.  Then we could objectively decide who “wins”.

 

A “seducer”, on the other hand, is focused on the WOMEN themselves.  Remember the dog that chased cars and finally caught one?  Well, there’s your analogy.  Once you “pick up” a woman, you’ve got to know WHAT TO DO NEXT.  That’s no longer “pickup”, gentlemen.   It’s the “seducer” who can drive a woman wild with attraction and…yes…sexual anticipation.  

 

I therefore consider the art of seduction to be a more evolved one than the art of pickup.  Although both are very necessary skills, if a guy learns some “pickup game” and stops there he’s in for some serious frustration.  After all, great women generally do not like being “picked up”.  But they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being “seduced”. 

 

Ever been to a car dealership?  Did the salesman basically ignore what you were saying and try to point you to his preference instead, asking “what he could do to get you to buy this car TODAY?”   Or…did he listen intently to you, eventually helping you get the car you really wanted…on terms you were stoked about? 

 

Yeah well, women are human beings just like you, not “targets”.  They love to buy what they are shopping for, but HATE to be “sold”. 

 

And what about the question of why EVERYTHING in the world of “men’s dating advice” seems to focus on “pick up” and “seduction” (if it even goes as far as the latter)?  The obvious answer is because it’s all about the “quick fix”, which is what itching ears want to hear.

 

But the truth about REAL, SUSTAINED success with women necessitates drilling down to an even deeper level.  Once you’ve SEDUCED a woman, a man must continue to keep her attracted.  Are you one of those guys who feels like he’s continuously shoveling coal into the burner trying to backfill all of those “relationships” that flame out after two or three dates?  If so, what I’ve shared with you thus far could be why…your vision isn’t deep enough.

 

Don’t beat yourself up over this, though.  After all, as we’ve already said most of the info out there for us guys about “how to succeed with the babes” is telling us to dive into a shallow “kiddie pool” head first.

 

All of this is precisely why we talk about getting TOTAL CONTROL over one’s dating life around here.  This means enrapturing women

and keeping them enthralled with the kind of masculine, confident, character-driven greatness that smacks of utter authenticity and therefore pure staying power.  This means deserving what you want rather than getting a few "Jedi mind tricks" down pat.  You've got to give women something REAL.

 

Is this worth it to you? 

 

Can you be the man who manages relationships according to his own decision-making abilities—but always with the positive concern for women that causes them to love you for your efforts? 

 

This is way beyond “day one” and “day two” stuff.  This means throwing away the calendar and enjoying the freedom of life without deadlines.   

 

 

Be Good,

Scot

 

 

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DO SOME HOLIDAY SHOPPING, GET DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT AS MY GIFT TO YOU:  That’s right, what if you could get some holiday gift buying out of the way and have me slap a no-strings-attached copy of Deserve What You Want on you as a bonus?  You’re reading this correctly…and I’ve made it so.  We’re now partnered with TrialPay as of RIGHT NOW for “DWYW” and by Monday night or so you’ll be able to snag up the other books and some audio programs the same way.  This is seriously cool and way too much fun…so much so that I’m planning on some TrialPay shopping myself.  BestBuy, Blockbuster, and a couple wineries are on the list…among lots and lots of others.  The Deserve What You Want version of this “candy store” is here:

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SPEAKING OF GETTING READY FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:  Right now I am offering one-off coaching sessions to help you maximize your chances at meeting someone great to take to the Christmas parties and to ring in the New Year with.  You aren’t going to drink beer with your buds and go dateless as the ball drops again, are you?  Not if I have anything to do with it.  Ring in 2008 with a REAL kiss instead of an awkward “pat on the back hug” from a co-worker.  Call me ASAP on +1-210-260-6400 or Skype “scotmckay” and let’s get this handled this year.

 

 

 

YOUR TEN-PLUS SESSIONS ON MP3:  I have added a cool new feature to the Ten-Plus program.  Now you can get all ten of your main sessions archived for you in MP3 format and delivered to your inbox within 24 hours of each respective call’s completion.  That way you have a permanent record of your coaching sessions that you can use for reference any time.  This is like having your own CUSTOM-CRAFTED “Ten Hour Advanced Series”.  That’s about as cool as it gets.  Take a look at http://www.dating-coaches.com and call me or Skype for the details.  Schedule at your convenience regardless of time zone.  Results are guaranteed.

 

 

 

NEW BLOG ENTRIES ALL THE TIME:  I’ve added a couple of new blog topics, and will continue to do so.  Stay tuned for another VIDEO called “For Entertainment Purposes Only” within the next day or so. 

http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog

Subscribe to the RSS feed and you’ll never miss a thing.

 

 

 

SEVEN DOLLAR SEMINARS FOR GUYS:  Lots of guys have been taking advantage of these.  Seriously…there’s no catch.  Only seven bucks each.   I’ve designed this to be a great chance for you to find out how much value we pack into our premium content.  Here’s the lineup…

 

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REAL-TIME PHONE COACHING OVER SKYPE:   Thanks to a cool new Skype feature, you can now get phone coaching directly from Emily or me in real-time by Skyping “scotmckay”.  Availability is limited, of course, but the coolest part is that you can take as few or as many minutes as you need at $2.50 USD per minute.  Yes…that’s our single session hourly price, pro-rated on a per-minute basis.  Try it now:

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THE CHICK WHISPERER #15…AND A BONUS EPISODE:  Episode #15 features Joseph “Thundercat” Matthews and is called “Having Sex With Her As Soon As Possible”.  You know me well enough by now to realize this episode has got to be a barnburner.   Hit iTunes at:

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or the feed at

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Get to know Thundy’s new Renegade Rapport DVD program by visiting

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and find out what all the fuss has been about regarding that.  Incidentally, the voicemail we answer in this episode is off-the-chain…seriously.  And guess what else? I’ve got SOMETHING SPECIAL for those of you who read these newsletters completely every month.  Some have been harping (reasonably so, I may add) that we don’t put out new episodes of TCW often enough.  Check it out…I’ve just uploaded a BONUS EPISODE entitled “Stop Giving Your Power Away” featuring “Mr. Indifference” himself Brent Smith

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It IS NOT ON THE FEED AND NEVER WILL BE.  Only newsletter subscribers get their hands on this one.  The direct link is:

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Enjoy…it’s a great episode.

 

 

 

EMILY’S “KEYS TO BLISS” NEWSLETTER:  Many of you still sign up every single time I send out a newsletter, so I’ll keep telling you about it.  Drop a blank e-mail to emily@aweber.com .  No subject or text is necessary.  Joining will not affect your membership to this newsletter.   Incidentally, Emily is feeling great and working on the next edition…

 

 

 

Did a friend forward you this message?  To receive this free newsletter on 21^st century dating issues from X & Y Communications on a regular basis, simply go to http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download “Get What You Deserve” for free.  Or, just email xandy@aweber.com.  Easy stuff.

 

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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of life you are in.  It’s all about straight talk about the most creative subjects, somehow encompassing moral principles while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important things head on.  The basic stuff you’ve heard a million times isn’t rehashed around here.  Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute professional advice.