IN THIS EDITION: Nobody wants to be categorized as
“selfish”. Yet, the only way to get the
success with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) we envision for ourselves is
to actively go make it happen. Nobody
is going to altruistically bestow wild success upon us on our behalf, when you
get right down to it. Find out how to
get what you want in a way that actually creates attraction AND promotes
admiration.
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT
FEELING SELFISH
I
gave serious thought to naming this week’s bit “The Selfish Man’s Guide To
Success With Women”. After all, that’s
really a fitting title.
But
the problem is that nobody wants to be cast as “selfish”, do they? Of course not. Yet, the truth is that if you didn’t spend considerable time
attending to your own needs and wants, you would be in no condition to make a
philanthropic dent on society, would you?
Anyone
who has ever bought a commercial airline ticket and used it has heard a flight
attendant’s pitch to deploy one’s own oxygen mask before assisting the
younguns. Oh yeah, and “breathe
normally” while doing so, will you?
Even
Mother Theresa was really doing what she most wanted to in life. And she also fed her own face every once in
a while too, I’m sure.
What
I’m getting at here is that I’ve been hearing a lot from guys lately who are
having a common problem. Essentially,
the issue seems to surround wanting to “not break any rules”, “stay socially acceptable”,
“fit in with the crowd”, and so forth.
And what’s happening is that these guys end up standing passively by
while OTHER GUYS come for the women they have their eye on (or even the ones
they LIVE with). Yet, they are averse
to trying to push the envelope a bit because that would be too…uh…”forward”, or
something.
Meanwhile,
at that last speed dating event, six of these guys were probably standing
around before things got rolling chit-chatting amongst themselves about this
exact topic while the seventh guy was already leaving with the one attractive
woman who showed up.
Isn’t
stuff like that against the “speed dating rules of etiquette”?
I
mean, how rude and selfish of guys like that to come around and assert
themselves with all the particularly sharp women, huh?
OK,
guys…here it is: It’s time to stop
being a martyr. You’re not being
benevolent and unselfish by neglecting to assert your alpha position in
deserving the greatest women.
And
guess what, you’re not doing any favors for the women you persist in “settling
for” either.
What
you ARE doing is FAILING TO DEPLOY.
You’re
not only keeping your self from success in the name of being “Mr. Nice Guy”,
you are STEALING OPPORTUNITY from great women everywhere.
In
your heart, don’t you feel a twinge of frustration knowing that certain
fantastic women out there would be better off with you than the mediocre guys
they themselves have been “settling” for lately? There’s no doubt about it in your mind, yet you still refuse to
impose your will.
That
would be selfish. Or possibly confused
with appearing too “needy”. Or
something like that.
Now
before you get too animated, you know me well enough by now to know that I’m
not talking about stealing people’s
spouses or anything else that’s from the “dark side”. It’s just that it’s time to reframe this
notion of what “selfishness” really means and how it can become a scapegoat for
artificially limiting ourselves.
We
all know that MANIPULATION is to be avoided.
Most of us understand that manipulators, by definition, operate purely
from a motive of getting as much of what they want from others with as little
personal investment as possible. Under
the guise of friendship and an umbrella of flattery, the manipulator
guilt-trips an unwitting subject into handing over personal favors and perhaps
even physical items of far greater worth than what has been extended.
Yeah,
that’s pretty selfish stuff. And once
exposed for what it is, manipulative patterns and the purveyors thereof tend to
be summarily looked down upon with disdain by society.
And
last I checked, “society” was made up of roughly 50% women.
Contrast
that entire concept with AMBITION. One
who is ambitious could be described as knowing what he or she wants, and having
the confidence and the plan to transform goals into realities. If true to their focus, such individuals
tend to go on to become CEOs, heads of state, cancer survivors and/or perennial
all-star point guards.
We
love stories of ambition and those who author them. And we love watching ambitious people succeed—especially when the
odds are against them.
But
make no mistake: Ambition is still all
about an individual and his or her personal desires.
So
what gives? Selfishness? Manipulation? Ambition? What’s the
difference?
First
of all, in order to break free from backing off from the kind of women we want
to deserve (or the career, adventures, friends, etc. for that matter), we have
to stop using “selfishness” as an excuse to cover up what’s actually pure FEAR
in most cases. Social martyrdom is
typically nothing more than a cover-up for insecurity and flat-out worry.
MANIPULATION
is the low-road because therein selfishness exists in a vacuum. We’re talking absolutely zero concern for
the needs and welfare of others. It’s
ALL taking, all the time. What’s more,
the manipulator betrays a common knowledge of right vs. wrong by attempting to
mask intentions.
Meanwhile,
AMBITION leaves room for others to come along for the ride to success. Implied is an over-arching goal to make sure
one’s life MATTERS. Also implied is the
desire to succeed in a way so as to make the world a better place in a way only
he or she uniquely can.
Sure,
there can be a fine line. Some people
can become somewhat destructively selfish in the name of ambition, most
definitely. For example, Lance
Armstrong’s particular brand of ambition conquered cancer and enabled surreal
athletic achievements. But it also has
repeatedly steamrolled anyone close to him.
Ultimately,
it comes down to this: Manipulation
drives great women away because it is ultimately rooted in sniveling
weakness. Ambition, on the other hand
represents the direct approach. He who
is ambitious openly states his intentions in broad daylight and exerts the
power and leadership to reach goals.
And
ambition, therefore, is extraordinarily attractive to women.
Ambition,
simply put, transcends “selfishness” by directing one’s vision for success in a
path that leads to great things. Others
want to be in on that. And make no
mistake, great achievements are predicated upon it.
Leadership,
confidence, having a plan for success.
That’s pretty much what women want out of a man. And that’s why guys who break the speed
dating rules (for example) get the girl.
Sure, they put their needs ahead of others…but not ahead of the women
they choose to invite into their lives.
So
where do you stand? Are you watching
from the sidelines so as not to “impose” on anyone?
If
so, I fully understand how unraveling all of what we’re talking about here can
be a real challenge. I’ve been
there. But I know there are real
solutions to getting where you want to be.
For
sure, there are no “quick fixes” or “band-aids”. But, the great news is that it can all happen for you much, much
sooner than you think.
Are
you ready for a character-based approach to attracting great women that does
away with manipulation and trickery once and for all? I’m all about grooming you for unimaginable success with the
highest echelon of women through genuine masculine strength, dignified
integrity and personal power.
All
you need are the right tools…and the AMBITION to take action.
Valentine’s
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Until
next time, be sure to check out the blog.
I’ve got a great new post that’s sure to “unhinge” more than a
few…literally. There’s also more video
around the corner in a day or two.
Be
Good,
Scot
=====
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