Questions And
Comments From Readers
Nice Shaped Head
had a question/comment about your
latest newsletter. What age were the women you polled for your information
on balding? When I was in high school and then some, I was NOT attracted
to men that were balding. That was then. Now there is so much more to
the decision, and I'm actually attracted to a guy that's bald, with a
"nice shaped head and dark features". Crazy, huh? Also, an
interesing bit of information about men that are balding. It seems
research has linked balding men to high testosterone levels.
K –IL
You know what? I have a theory that applies here. I believe that most of us tend to find people our own age
attractive, and that the trend holds true as we age. For example, I never even looked at thirty-something women when I
was 18. Given, the term “MILF” wasn’t
invented yet, but I doubt that had much to do with my own personal mental
state. Nowadays, however, women in
their mid/late thirties are much more interesting. So, yes…it’s quite possible that it’s more mature women who are
more likely to be attracted to bald guys.
It’s just like my thoughts on motherhood being sexy. Reflecting on it, I hadn’t realized that yet
when I was 18…LOL
As for the cause of balding, that’s not my
baileywick…but the key is generally considered to be a genetic inability to
deal with dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in particular. Check out this link for more if you are interested: http://dermnetnz.org/hair-nails-sweat/pattern-balding.html
Half A World Away
jst read d newsletter can help smilin and
laugh nice one
BRAVO
:)
warmugs
N –Indonesia
Alright. It’s good to know that we are
getting readership all the way in Indonesia. Thank you for your
support…but if you want to give me “warm hugs” you are in for a long flight,
aren’t you? That’s okay…I’m worth it!
Soulmates And Chemistry
Another topic...although could be very
controversial...I've noticed so many people looking for their
'soulmate'. I get along with so many people...and i've had many guys tell
me they 'know' I am their 'soulmate'...but I did not feel the same for
them...and did not want to pursue a relationship further than
friendship... great...here's my take on soulmates...I believe that there
are a lot of people we could have lots in common with and make a great
partner with (it's just tough finding the right one sometimes!). But, I don't
particularly believe there is one 'soulmate' ...for example, if that were true;
then why is it that biblically, we are allowed to remarry if we are widowed? And
many people have remarried after the death of their spouse and were just as
happy with their second wife/husband. I think that we can have chemistry with
many attractive people...and many people confuse chemistry with 'love' or 'my
soulmate'. The relationship has to go deeper than just chemistry. Lots of guys
just look at a pretty girl and they have so-called 'chemistry' and could get it
on with just about any pretty girl...it takes a lot more than that to build a
long lasting relationship. And, in regards to soulmates...again,
I don't believe that there is just 'one' person out there designated
for us... However, I do believe we need to be wise and seek God's
wisdom in finding our mate of course...and allow God to work in our lives...gotta
go for now...take care...
M –South Texas
We love controversy around here…and the
“soulmates” question is a great one. While it is amazingly romantic to
think that out of 6 billion people on Earth God has just one for you, I have
yet to read any scriptural reference supporting it. I’m not sure that
means a whole lot to those who are in love..LOL.
So, here’s the pragmatic answer. I’m with
you on this. I think there is an indefinite number of people we can be
compatible with long term—and insanely happy. Quite frankly, the more
attractive and personable a person is—and the lower their expectations—the
higher the probability that s/he is going to find someone compatible long term.
Let’s face it, there are also going to be more people who are going to be
willing to spend a lifetime with that person. Good people make good
mates…period.
I also agree with you that this all involves much
more than chemistry. Those who find
“chemistry” hard to come by are often swept away by it. The guys who can get ”pretty girls” (to
borrow your example) get used to it quickly, and actually are looking for more
depth than that. Did you hear that pretty ladies? Guys with the
“whole package” are going to need a lot more than a pretty face. You can’t
really depend on being beautiful, in and of itself, to land you the “perfect
guy”. How to create chemistry and what
to do about it are great topics for future newsletters.
Sign Me Up
Good job, and very interesting! I
enjoyed reading it, and may just have to "sign up"! One can
never get enough advice or "tips" from the opposite sex...what
insight!!!
S –Dallas
Consider yourself “signed up” then…
LOL. If you like what I’ve written so far, I have some killer topics for
you in the future. Stay tuned!
Web Flowers
just read your newsletter on games...--but
what about all of those online dating junkies...addicted to online dating
sites..... here's another example...the whole threat thing..."I'll kill
myself if you leave me' or "I can't imagine my life without you...I'll die
if you leave'./...
J –ID
Oh, great further examples of “games”. Yeah,
I’ve personally met at least one woman online who proudly announced that she
was “only into this for the ego trip, and not really interested in going on
dates.” Well, okay…as long as she’s up front about it. Had she not
been, she would just be playing a bunch of guys to make herself feel
better. It takes all types, I
guess. There are also the women who
stay on one dating site for months or even years…with the same picture and
never an update to the profile (you know, the profile with “no games” in there
somewhere). Yet, they are always online
or “active within 24 hours”. I call
these “Web flowers”. You just gotta
believe there are “games” involved there somewhere.
As for the threats, call that pure
manipulation. Manipulation by weakness,
in particular. Nobody should ever be
compelled to stay in an unwanted relationship because of any sort of guilt trip
or threat posed against you by the other person. Ever. Women, I’ve noticed
tend to use manipulation by guilt or “territory marking” to trap the guy into a
relationship he wants to bail from.
Men, on the other hand, get even scarier and go into this twisted
thought process of, “If I can’t have her, nobody else can either.” Ladies, if you are getting stalked or
generally creeped out by the ex in this way, drop EVERYTHING and get a
restraining order. Do it.
Passion Pets
If a guy is not really all into pet names...or
does not use them frequently.... and he calls the girl baby during sex...is it
because he is into the moment or he is "feeling" it for the girl??
What if it is in between the exclamation and a soft gentle way? Also what
if he brings it up later...like do you remember what I called you while we were
having sex?
L –AL
Well, there are enough complexities there that
I’m not going to go “Dr. Laura” on you and pick that apart only knowing a small
amount of the ‘big picture’. I will say this… It is all about the
inflection and the intricacies of the moment. If it sounds heartfelt at
the time and he brings it up later to hear you input on it, then it was likely
an emotional moment for him. If he didn’t mean to utter it during the heat
of the moment, and is apologetic, then either the opposite is true or he was
embarrassed by it Generally, though, I
would think that if didn’t mean it when he said itt, then he would NEVER bring
it up later…rather, he’d hope you’d forget about it! I’d think a good
honest talk about this whole issue between you two would be a good thing.
Be good,
Scot
Scot McKay is located in San Antonio,
TX. He holds a B.A. in Christian
Education.
X and Y Communications is
dedicated to making you the most skilled participant in the dating world you
can be, at whatever stage of life you are in.
It’s all about straight talk about the most creative subjects, somehow
encompassing faith-based principles while being neither too shy nor too
judgmental to hit the important things head on. The stuff you’ve heard a million times isn’t rehashed around
here. Enjoy!
ãX & Y Communications, 2005 All Rights Reserved
info@xandycommunications.net