Reader Questions And Comments

 

 

Wedding Plans

 

Congratulations, both of you!!!

 

Have a bottle of champagne on me... well, sort of!

 

Cheers,

 

H-Canada

 

First of all, many many thanks to all of you who have sent well wishes to Emily and I. We appreciate it so much. The most popular question was “When???” and we have officially set the date for December 9^th here in San Antonio.

And if you’d like to e-mail us some champagne, we’re all for it!

 

 

 

Thinking It’s About Time

 

 

Scot,

 

Thanks a lot for hooking me up with your news letter. I have received two of

them and have found them to be very helpful. With this last one you really

have given me something to think about.

 

R-ID

 

This reader actually called me after I responded to him to tell me that the newsletter caused him to decide it was time to propose to his girlfriend.

I’ll tell you…nothing beats making a difference in life. I love my job!

Hey “R” in Idaho…how did that go anyway?

 

 

Fall Into The Gap

 

In this newsletter [i.e “The Age Gap”] you mainly talk about men dating much younger women, do you think it also applies to women dating younger men? I’m curious about your, and Emily’s opinion especially since women have a different way of looking at relationships than men do.

Love the newsletters, keep up the great work!

 

M-TX

 

Ah yes…further proof that my plans tend to be in the right direction. We followed up the “Age Gap” newsletter with “X & Y On The Fly” Episode 9 on the same subject. But OH YEAH…we hit it from every angle this time. For the record, Emily’s opinion is now on the record!

Some of you, based on your letters, were surprised by our feelings on that subject, but you shouldn’t be. I believe that lots of people simplify things way too much when it comes to wanting “a younger woman”, “an older man” or whatever. Women who are closer to my age but who seem a lot younger are few and far between, but being all about deserving what I want that is exactly who I sought out.

As far as my thoughts specifically regarding older women dating younger men, I think that the issues are very similar to those faced by men dating younger women.  The difference is that most women, I believe, have a clearer understanding of what to expect before entering into it.   For women there isn't so much of a "trophy" aspect associated with snagging a younger guy, also.  Sure, there's the occasional woman who gets a "boy toy" for a little fun, but it's somewhat rare for a woman to go long term with a guy who is more than, say, a few years her junior.

 

 

 

Right On Target

 

 

Hi Scot,

 

Happy Thursday! lol  Just wanted to let you know I love your newletters.  This particular newsletter [“Approaching Women: The Single Event That Changed My Life”] is one of my favorites.  In it you discuss the particular incident that made you, and us through you, realize that maybe we are overthinking how we approach (or not! lol) meeting new people for possible dating/relationships.  I would love to have as many people (men ) as possible find out about this fresh way of meeting people (me! lol) and to that effect I will forward it to as many people as possible.  Six degrees of separation!! Lol

 

M-TX

 

Listen up, guys! This letter is from a woman who wishes more guys would come and talk to her at the Target store (or wherever)! Are you getting this?

In case this indeed requires just a bit more detail, my next newsletter is going to be called “How To Meet Someone At The Grocery Store”. How’s that? I promise practical steps. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Hey Jealousy

 

 

McKay,

 

Definately a good newsletter ["Infidels And The Cheaters Who Love Them"].  I have always been a firm believer in, "If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you."

 

My ex-wife was the most unfaithful person I think I have ever known but yet she was EXTREMELY jealous.  She would falsely accuse me of cheating on her quite often.  After our divorce was final, she realized all the "errors in her ways".  She admitted to me that she was jealous and accusing because she knew how unfaithful she had been.  She figured that since she had cheated, then I would have also.  Crazy stuff. 

 

S-TX 

 

Jealousy is truly the most useless emotion I can think of, except maybe worry. Be jealous, kill attraction. At worst, it indeed signals a warning sign that the accuser is likely to be a cheater. At best (or is this actually even worse) the jealous partner has intense self-esteem issues.

I know who wrote this letter, and know he is a man of great integrity. That said, if you have a jealous partner but ARE a cheater, disregard all of the above. You are getting what you deserve (as opposed to deserving what you want).

 

 

 

Cheating Is None Of Your Business…I Hope

 

 

Hey Scot

 

I want to share something with you. I used to have a friend, a older guy who is about 48 and now divorced. I'm 31. And I used to look up to him. A funny guy who tells great stories and we used to go hiking together, etc. Last year we used to go out to a particular bar/lounge and party, dance, meet women. And he told me he got a divorce. And we continued to party together at his place, my place. It was crazy.

 

Anyway we never did any business together. And something came up in December just before I wanted to go on holiday. And I didn't like the way he handled it and that he added a project management fee for himself, instead of just referring this client to me. So I pulled out after I feel the discussions were going nowhere slowly.

 

And something else hit me at that time as well because he got angry and swore never to do business with me. I realised this guy cheated on his wife more then once. I met the woman he cheated with. And he even cheated on this woman. And I thought to myself if he can cheat on his wife. Who the hell am I? How can I trust this supposedly good guy to be fair and ethical in business dealings. Or for that matter whether he has my best interests at heart as a friend/mentor (being older and all).

 

So I completely cut ties with him. And I do not regret it.

 

R-South Africa

 

 

 

It's funny how that works in the business world. There are lots of parallels between sales and dating. If a salesperson tricks customers or lies to them, he will get flaky customers in return. If a salesperson "entertains" customers in illicit ways (e.g. strip clubs, etc.) that have to be hidden from spouses he will soon see that underhanded tactics are employed by his customers against him.

 

And so revolves the world...

 

Be Good,

 

Scot McKay

 

 

 

 

PODCASTS UPDATE: Episode 11 of “X & Y On The Fly” is finally available. The topic is, of course, “How Do You Know When It’s Time To Get Married?” As you know by now, I propose to Emily LIVE on that podcast. We had lots of fun with that podcast (of course!), and I had to laugh at myself when I listened to the replay. Even dating coaches get “choked up” when the big moment comes! Hear for yourself at: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/main/podcast.htm. I continued to be amazed at the amount of listeners we are having. Someone in Zimbabwe is even listening now!

 

Just yesterday I finally finished another new website. I’m often asked about whose work has influenced us and/or what other books and programs I recommend. Well, we now have a site dedicated to that very purpose at www.dating-resources.net. Enjoy!

 

Keep sending me recipes for the upcoming book “Cook For Your Date”. Find out more about it and reserve your copy for half-price at www.romantic-dinner.com.

 

If you haven’t visited our new website www.datetoorder.com , yet you keep having bad first dates, then don’t blame us! LOL DateToOrder bridges the gap between profile-based online dating sites and matchmaking services. Get the right dates, yet stay in complete control of the process. (Where was DateToOrder three years ago when I NEEDED IT?)

Get the book “Deserve What You Want” in either electronic .pdf format or paperback and take the next step toward finding the lifetime relationship that others can only dream of without having made the necessary investment. www.deservewhatyouwant.com/main/ebook.htm

 

Coaching sessions are available. Get the personalized training towards becoming one of the few who DESERVES what s/he WANTS, decides what that means in his/her life, and knows how to go about getting it. Drop a note to info@xandycommunications.net for more information.

 

 

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Questions? Ideas? Comments? Send to questions@xandycommunications.net. Your feedback is welcome. If you like what you read, please feel free to forward the newsletter to others. That’s how we build our audience!

 

 

X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of life you are in. It’s all about straight talk about the most creative subjects, somehow encompassing faith-based principles while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important things head on. The stuff you’ve heard a million times isn’t rehashed around here. Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute professional advice.

 

 

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